As promised, I'm going to show you the pics of the latest events here in germany <3
Also, these events made me notice something... but I'm gonna tell you at the end of this Blog (:
Then, last weekend started with the Book fair in Leipzig. We just went there by train with some friends
My cutie pie Marie <3 <3 <3 <3 c:
But it wasn't that much of a drama, since the color was kinda 'fitting' at least a bit this time.
I also got filmed ^^ just a small private video by another great lolita, but it's funny seeing me there in the "intro" for a few seconds. But it's a nice summary of the whole book fair and it's great Lolitas and Cosplayers! ^-^
You can see me around 00:50 seconds or so xD
You know, I'm not a Lolita for long and sometimes, now and again, I was always wondering if Lolita is actually the 'right' scene for me. But finding new lovely dresses made me block that question out all the time.
So, while I was waiting for my tea, tasting some cake (it was delicious!!) and some really wonderful looking Lolitas surrounded me, the question came up again.
After an half hour I was horrible bored.. and I mean REALLY bored, and after 2 hours I was so bored that it kinda pissed me off.
I mean... really? Sitting in a café for 2 hours and waiting for the next 4 hours, drinking tea and eating cake? That's all ? I expected me doing this when I'm a grandma with my ass-boring-grandma friends around me in 60 years, but I'm iny 20's, what the flying F*ck am I doing here?
Two hours. Two hours I could have spending drawing for my next exhibition, or learning surf-riding, or bake a f*cking awesome cake myself with my f*cking awesome friends, or apply for making a diver's liscence. But no. I'm drinking tea. In a ridiculous expensive dress. Watching a "living doll" dancer next to me doing the 'robo dance', but it's actually No damn robo-dance, no, it's supposed to look like a marionette
Never mind, I left after 2 hours and was happy as f*ck.
Lolita made me met the most horrible and wrong persons of my life. Lolita made me spend money on things I rather 'need' to look 'right' - instead of things I enjoy.
Of course I was happy to get a dress, I was happy when the milky-chan bag arrived, and WOW I was happy when I finally got my BTSSB umbrella. But I'm wondering if all that was just another pathetic attempt to find myself. Or maybe just finding some friends in a City which was completely foreign to me when I moved here.
And yeah.. it kinda MADE me find another piece of myself, coz I realized a little bit more what makes me truly happy.
I will spend my money on something I love and what makes me happy. I grew up with dogs and I decieded to get one again.
Say Hello to Trixie ^_^
This is what makes me happy so bad... for example. ^^
What also makes me happy is to travel. Maybe I can combine those things. This year I want to fly to MALTA with my BF, maybe I can take Trixie with me.
Playing with my dream dog on the beach... wow... that'll be worth every fucking cent <3<3<3<3
Maybe we have to look a little bit closer on things we believe to like. Maybe there are things we like even more and make us even happier. I'm sure there are many girls who truly love being lolita, sure! Everyone is on it's own way to find it's luck ^u^
I want to surround myself with people I love and that love me back. With things I enjoy without the slightest doubt. And one day I'll be completely surrounded by things that make me happy as F*ck only!!! XDDDD
Don't worry, I'm not going to stop wearing Lolita. There are still some coords on it's way I ordered some weeks ago. But I think I won't buy any more stuff for the next time. Still there's the cherry blossom festival next month and the japan day in may, where I will appear in Lolita. And still I DO have some awesome Lolita friends I don't want to dissappoint that much.
BUT... after this I will more concentrate on COSPLAY again ^^ where I never met any assholes... but a bunch of true friends <3
I hope I didn't bored you too much with this XD